My mother worked until I entered high school. My mom said my father fell in love because office lady especially my mom looked so graceful. Almost 20 years ago in Korea, it was very rare case when women had a job. Even though my father loves my mother, social atmosphere didn’t allow men to help their wives in women’s space like kitchen. Mother had to do almost everything not only work in business, but also housework including taking care of her children. Finally, my brother was looked after by my grandmother before he entered the primary school, and I always went grandma’s home every vacation. She doesn’t have time to get fat. Mom was skinny and now, I know that it is caused by stress.
Sure enough, I understand, or I should understand her situation, but as juvenile, it’s very difficult even though I learned “independence” at that time. If I said I’ve never felt alone and I was totally happy because I was already adult, I really understand her, bla bla.. it should be lie. I’ve never resented mom, however maybe on the other side, I felt unsatisfied my condition. I wanted to depend on my mom, the perfect woman.
One day, when I called her ‘mother’, and added ‘yes ma’am’ she was really upset and said ‘please call me just mom, why don’t you keep in touch with me?’ At this moment, I encountered her lesson. ‘Mother’ also are human, woman. She also can be tired, can be irritated, and have stress from job. She wanted me to be her best friend, and I could do while I want to rely on parents by keeping her at a distance. My mom always thought me her lesson in a direct way or indirect way. “Be independent, but should get together” I know that this lesson is mandatory to teach my daughter or son.
I don’t know how can I do, of course, how can I teach my (future) daughter or son yet. It takes long time that I recognized mom’s lesson for me. Hopefully, my daughter and son are much wiser than me because I will also follow my mom’s process to teach them, directly or indirectly. However, I’m certain that it’s better then my mother’s case because at that time I and my mother get together for teaching her.
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After writing, I really missed my mom, so recently, I gota little bit homesickness.
Now, it's ok. :-)
2 comments:
hi Huynjin, i really like your writing, it makes me thing about my mother too. hic, i am kind of homesickness after writing this topic too.
Okay, okay - sorry! You aren't supposed to get homesick doing homework!! I didn't mean to make you feel sad and lonely; I'm just trying to get you to write what you feel in English.
Your mother's generation was caught in a tough time. They could finally get out into the "man's world," but had to take care of their "woman's work" at home. My mum had the same experience. I am very glad that I won't and don't have to face this. Andy (my favorite husband) is a lovely man who realizes that our home is made by both of us, so we're both responsible for the housework. We have jobs that we don't like doing, and if the other doesn't mind, we swap. For example, I HATE HATE HATE shopping, but Andy doesn't mind; therefore, he does all the food shopping. Andy dislikes doing laundry, but I like doing it because I like to go outside to hang it up to dry. It all is working very well!
I hope that you don't go through what your mum experienced - all that working must suck!
your grade: 20/20
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